How to continue...

I was over a year and a half accidentally seizure-free until last month. I had a seizure at school for the first time in my 12 years of education. My neck started twitching (the first time I had been warned), and everything was blank. Apparently, I stood up and started to make sounds that sounded like I was laughing. I began to fall, but my amazing classmate caught me on the way down. She lay me on the ground, and I then began to shake. My teacher and classmates were very helpful, so I woke up on the floor with everyone out of the classroom except for a few teachers. I remember laying there on the floor, hearing my lovely teachers trying to support me as I woke up from the seizure. They helped me sit up and process what just happened. I went to the hospital after the seizure and had a lot of thoughts spinning through my head, which I want to share here today.

At first, I felt distraught that my driving journey was put to a halt. I was finally starting to progress in my driving journey, and now I had to stop driving. I was upset, but I have learned to find peace in my driving journey. Some may see my few as pessimistic, but I am a realist. I am able to continue happily in my life because I have found inner peace in realizing that I will probably not drive in the future, and that's okay. God gives us all our battles, and my driving dilemma is part of my battle. I will strongly rely on public transportation in the future, and it is good that I have made and put that realistic expectation in my life. Realistic expectations will help us continue. It is important to still have hope, but it is important to remember not always to set the bar too high. Find a good medium.

I was upset after this incident, but my religion has helped me process this experience. I believe that my seizure had a purpose that day. Maybe my seizure changed one of my classmate's career paths, opened the eyes of some of my classmates, or maybe even affected the faculty at my school. I do not know why I had a seizure that day, but I genuinely believe that my seizure had an important purpose. I believe that God has a plan for all of us and that my seizure that day did not only affect my journey but also others. Jesus Christ has helped me continue through all this, and I am grateful for his guidance and love.

My parents and doctors were worried about me after my seizure. They were concerned about the embarrassment I felt and about returning to school with this embarrassment. I shockingly was not embarrassed at all. After my seizure, I woke up and thought of this quote that has helped me continue every day, and I hope it helps someone else as well. "There is no point in being embarrassed about something that is out of your control." This is true. My seizures are something that has been a part of my life forever. I will not, and you should not be embarrassed about something you struggle with daily. My seizure was just a look into my daily life. I take medicine daily and wear watches to bed every night because of my epilepsy. I live with Epielspy every day, and that is not my fault. You and I should never be embarrassed about our disorders. It's a part of our lives; they just got a peek at what living with this disorder looks like. Never be embarrassed to let people see what you battle against every day.

I hope my story has helped you, and remember you are strong. Jesus Christ, MiloandMe, and I love you so much and are always here to support you!

-Emily :)